Posted on by JJones

Off the Wall: A walk through history

So, I’ve been away for longer than I expected, but my husband and I took a walk through history without technology!  We outlawed iPads, and laptops. Phones were only used in case the kids had to reach us. This was a vacation in itself. Not saying I don’t enjoy writing to you all, but it felt quiet. I had to laugh to myself when I wrote this, because the first thing that came to my head was, Hermoine Granger telling Harry Potter, “Even in the wizarding world,  hearing voices isn’t a good sign.” 

It does seem that technology always keeps us connected or at least it is suppose to. My daughters are always annoyed when I leave my cell phone at home. I tell them I liked it better when phones were attached to the wall, so you weren’t expected to always answer. But while I fuss and grip,  it is great that we can now communicate so easily. It just comes at the cost of solitude. I don’t want to sound like a hermit but I do think that we need to guard that treasured silence.  As Maya Angelou puts it, “Solitude can be a must-be-desired condition. In silence, we listen to ourselves, and in the quietude we may even hear the voice of God.”

I enjoyed being with my husband and myself as we went from the Chesapeake Bay area to the Outer Banks. We saw Yorktown, Jamestown, and any town in between. We walked where pirates strolled, and where men first flew. Returning to the present I can say it was great walking through the past together, without any Facebook likes. But I hope to get some ‘likes’,  when I share the trip photos!

I’d suggest a vacation from technology with an understanding that technology is a huge part of our lives.  Enjoy some solitude but be thankful for the many ways we can connect to those we love.  Just don’t let the many voices of  technology take control. I have to remind myself of this a lot. Technology can be all consuming and addictive.

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Off the Wall: Your mother’s eyes

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In Harry Potter they speak about how Harry looks like his father but has his mother’s eyes. I remember when my children were born, just about every relative or friend commented on each feature. “She has your eyes, or He has his grandfather’s nose.” I kept wanting to say no, those are her eyes and that is his nose. I know of course that children do resemble their relatives, but when you are constantly tell them they are just like someone else, how can they become who they are? 

Putting pressure on the child to be like a beloved relative/friend/celebrity, or telling them they act like a villain of the family, manipulates their self image.

For example my grandfather was a hero to our whole family. He was beloved and treasured in the community, as well as just a wonderful person to be around. So it goes to figure that out of respect someone in the family would name their child after him. So his first grandson was named Ansel, then he named his son Ansel. Then the second grandson named his son Ansel as well. So currently I have a brother and two nephews with the same name. All of them hoping to live up to the original Ansel. It really hurt my first nephew when his cousin was given his name. But since then we have sorta made a joke out of it, by calling my grandfather, Ansel Classic, and the last Ansel,  Ansel 2.0. (Although how is 2.0 going to feel when he gets older, I hope he goes by Andy!) And I have begged my children to discontinue the name in the future. We have way to many Ansels. Sharing a name is often a tradition and it can in-steel pride but there are some consequences that comes with it as well. 

Each individual is different, they have some similarities, but I think we should teach our children to treasure who they are, not force them into a mold. I personally believe that children should strive to not be a copy of another person, but rather learn their own strengths and weaknesses. But it can be argued that by giving the child someone to look up to you set certain standards and give the child pride.

From my own experience I say a child should be praised for their own beauty inside and out, and given a name as a blessing that is truly theirs. Having guidelines from people you look up to is not bad, but heroes should be the ones that you relate to. We shouldn’t self impose who we want our children to be, but rather love who they are. 

Harry Potter proved to be his own person, just with pretty green eyes.